Game of Life

The Game of Life ~ It's More Than a Board Game

Years ago I introduced a way to begin virtually every critical thinking class I teach at Montana State University. It’s called La Question du Jour, which is French for The Question of the Day. After asking the question, we go around the room and each person simply answers “Yes,” or “No,” as I tabulate the answers at the board. About the only rule of this practice is that the students have to answer Yes or No. The answers are not discussed…at least not at the time. I always answer last so I don’t sway the results. I can tell by the looks on the students’ faces whether or not they are thinking about the question. Maybe once a semester, when the classroom discussion lends itself to this question, I ask the students, “Is life a game?” This one usually does make them think and feel.

Why do I ask this question? Mainly because of the many pressures and anxieties the students discuss in class. They feel they are investing and vested in something they aren’t sure will adequately support them when they are on their own. (This is where we elders come in, but we’ll get to that later.)

The Game of Life is Serious Business!

Games were created thousands of years ago to prepare groups to face life’s inevitable challenges. Goals and challenges impact the rules of how a game is played, what strategies are adopted and adapted, and how players win or lose – aka live or die – as they navigate through different stages and circumstances.Lacrosse

Carrying this further, there is also both an ancestral attitude and philosophy that Life is a Game, but what is at stake is far different from modern concepts of sporting events. For example, lacrosse was both a ceremony and a game, emulating a creation story of the Haudenosaunee people.[1] It represents the struggle between light and dark forces, teaching important life lessons that go far beyond the Game of Life board game. It is safe to say that Life as a playful exercise permeates many cultures the world over. In other words, these views open up other possibilities of a life well lived, one that is not myopically focused on materialism or pursuing a standard-of-living for its own sake.

To be clear, no culture, no game and certainly not this writer have said that we don’t need stuff to survive, and to help us enjoy life. But, as elders, we need to be aware that many of our young people are distressed, disenchanted and disheartened. They do not see viable alternatives to the lifestyles and life ways of their parents and grandparents, which seem to be increasingly unattainable. Many, but not all, of the students with whom I interact do not see opportunities inherent in change because their vision is clouded with stress and uncertainty, rather than cleared with possibility and promise.

[1] The Haudenosaunee people were an alliance among six Native American nations commonly known as the Iroquois Confederacy.

What's the Answer?

Maybe it’s to put Game back into Life. As I alluded to in my introductory blog post, traditional cultures have a different and perhaps healthier relationship to the Game. This is not because their values are necessarily different from those of the post modern era, but their life’s pursuits are much different. Values and life pursuits should be in balance and in harmony. For instance, we all love our children. However, whereas one culture pursues an ever increasing standard-of-living that young people feel is rendering them increasingly impotent, another lives in ways to promote abundance for future generations.

Let’s go back to the Game. Remember, children don’t play for fun; they play for real. In other words, play is very serious fun to children. Probably the best thing my mother ever told me, especially when I got on her nerves, was, “Go outside and play!” Such elder wisdom…

Fortunately we can relearn to be children by playing the Game of Life. By playing just as many ancient civilizations did, we enter into almost inconceivable resonance with everything around us. This means being completely present and committed to creating the Game at hand, sometimes creating rules as we go. Discovery is the best teacher and the best truth. It demands we surrender to the unknown and welcome the still-to-be-discovered as a game. In other words, we play the Game of Life with our co-creating teammates without becoming too stiff and sure of what it all means. Such play is an antidote to boredom.

Becoming an Elder

As we get older, we likely view life differently than when we were younger. Accumulated life experiences and changing priorities shift our perspectives. Here are some ways in which we may perceive life differently, and how to use these transformations to help the younger people we know and love.

  1. Share Wisdom and Perspective: Many young people are very stressed right now. Intuit as to when to address their angst with your broader perspectives gained through life experiences. Many are learning how to play the Game of Life during multiple existential crises. We may have encountered and overcome similar obstacles, and learned valuable lessons, which can lead to a more nuanced and insightful understanding of life. Be ready to share, but remember: listen first.
  2. Prioritize Meaning and Fulfillment: Quality time with another never goes out of style. Relationships and engagement take many forms. Through your example and temperament, demonstrate and share activities that bring joy, health and purpose.
  3. Appreciate the Present: We tend to have a heightened appreciation for the present moment and value simpler pleasures of life. Savor the experiences, relationships and beauty that are present, especially when someone trusts you with what’s on their mind.
  4. Accept Impermanence: With age, we often develop a deeper acceptance of the impermanence of life. We have experienced loss, including the passing of loved ones or changes in our physical abilities. Recognizing life’s transience can lead to a greater focus on cherishing the present and making the most of the time we have, and the time we have with anything and anyone we love.
  5. Embrace Authenticity: We may feel more comfortable being our authentic self and less concerned with societal expectations or judgments. This can help us express our true thoughts, feelings and desires in response to what others may ask us.
  6. Question Authority: Knowing how to question authority without losing a job, our freedom or our life is damn important! This is a true life skill. To question is to learn. If we don’t question authority, we don’t learn. If we don’t question authority, we deny the authority a chance to teach. But we want to make sure the lessons aren’t too painful, so exercise caution if you provide this counsel. However, if you have a story about how you questioned authority and what came out of that, tell it!
  7. Reflect on Legacy: Contemplate and share the impact you feel you have made on your family, friends, enemies and society as a whole. Have you worked on a long held vision for others and yourself that carried you when times were tough? When you discuss these “leave behinds” with younger people who are struggling, sometimes it helps them see things in a different light. Remember the game of lacrosse: it represents the struggle between light and dark forces. There is no shadow without the light.

Is Life Always a Game?

I’m a big fan of Jimmy Buffett. Many of Buffett’s ballads, some even good-naturedly, go into life’s struggles. Like many good stories, they don’t give a definitive answer, but help us contemplate reality, relationships and change. In other words, the takeaways are personal. Two good Jimmy Buffett examples are He Went to Paris and The Captain and the Kid.

All of this brings us to this question: Is Life always a Game? We all know people who live with unbelievable loss and tragedy, and the just plain horrific lives some people have. It may not be possible to be “in play” all the time.

I know a couple on a reserve (aka a reservation in the USA) in Canada who has lost three children: one to early childhood sickness, one to an accidental shooting, and one who was assaulted and now paralyzed. He is almost completely unable to communicate and do anything for himself. They love their other children, grandchildren and other relatives, but I don’t know how they continue to love everyone else who comes to their home. I don’t know how they can serve and bring joy to others, especially by helping parents who have lost children. Their mantra is, “Lose one. Gain many.” I don’t know how they do what they do with such spirit and compassion in the midst of these and other losses. Yet somehow they create what is likely the happiest home in which I’ve ever been.

“Man is not disturbed by events, but by the view he takes of them.” Epicetus

This extreme example meshes with how Peruvian shaman and transpersonal psychologist, don Oscar Miro-Quesada, says most traditional peoples play the Game of Life. He states, “The real secret of life is to completely engage with what we are doing here and now, and instead of calling it work, realize it is play. Such play deepens our relationship with the larger reality. Through the Game of Life, ancient wisdom comes alive and fosters the evolution of human consciousness to enable more mature and visionary decisions for the greatest good, rather than immature, short-sighted so-called remedies and quick fixes that, at best, serve only a few.”

As I reread Oscar Miro-Quesada’s explanation, I still can’t quite fathom my Canadian friends’ total devotion to family and the Game of Life. The best I can come up with at the moment is that the Game of Life must have different levels, like moving up from little league baseball, to high school, college, the minor leagues, then the majors and ultimately to the All-Star Game. Maybe as our skill level increases, so do the challenges.

As is lacrosse, the Game of Life may be meant to be a process of deep spiritual transmutation. It’s a process of intimate communion with our surroundings. It is a dynamic journey. Every step takes us into the unknown. It may not always be friendly, but it is dependable. It is a process without completion; paradoxically, it can make us whole.

© Steve Guettermann 2023

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